All I want for Christmas

Some pointless food-related nonsense I wouldn't mind finding under the Christmas tree on December 25th. Maybe some of it will be suitable for the foodie in your life?

Ninja Bread Men - Play.com (£5.00)

I'm a terrible baker and maker of cakes, biscuits and, generally, anything sweet. Next year's resolution is to get better and I think the opportunity to make ninja-shaped cookies might be the inspiration I need.

Scrabble teatowel - The Literary Gift Company (£9.25)

Any cook knows that washing up the piles of pans, pots and plates is the worst part of any kitchen experiment. Maybe this excellent Scrabble tea-towel will make it more bearable? Handy if you cannot afford to buy a dishwasher.

A Welsh food hamper - The Welsh Hamper Company (various prices)

Too many selections to list here, but I'd be quite partial to the wine and cheese hamper or the afternoon tea one. Great to showcase some of Wales' best food and drink.

British Gastronomy Map Print - Not On The High Street (£25)

As someone with a limited grasp of geography and a keen interest in food, this would look excellent on the wall of my kitchen or study. It's also incredibly awesome for those who do know their Derby from their Durham.

Retro Sweet Tuck Box - Handy Candy (£6.99)

I'm not sure if the retro sweet fad is over and, frankly, I don't care. As a reminder of my childhood, this is a perfect gift. There's also boxes and sweet hampers for the Christmas period.

Blood Energy Drink - Firebox.com (£4.99)

The sort of gift that would be amusing for Christmas Day but probably no further. But as a fan of vampires, I'd laugh when I removed it from the wrapping paper. And then probably never drink it. (Also available in green Zombie blood flavour).

Vampire Chutney Gift Pack - The Garlic Farm via Firebox.com (£12.99)

Another vampire related gift. This time, one I would probably actually eat.

A Recipe for Murder cookbook - Amazon.co.uk (£8.99)

Confession - I already own this but it's another great present for foodie friends of a more macarbre disposition. Featuring recipes inspired by Dracula, Lady MacBeth and other fictional legends, it's also a very easy-to-use and beautiful book.

Cupcakes and cocktail experience - Lastminute.com (£47 on offer)

I'd love to be whisked off to London, taught how to decorate some lovely cupcakes and to make some cocktails. Sounds wonderful.

Christmas Goody Bag - Hotel Chocolat (£17.00)

Some may balk at paying so much for a bag of chocolate but for us, a goody bag or a giant cracker from Hotel Chocolat is a Christmas tradition. Much better than your usual selection box.

Cottage Delight Creative Cooks Mexican Kit - John Lewis (£15)

I love cooking and eating Mexican food but never get much more adventurous at home than ripping open an Old El Paso Fajita Dinner Kit. This might help with that.